Reality Check: 5 Valentine’s Day Wake Up Calls

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Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day of the year. A day filled with reminders about how much you’re loved and how much you love your significant other. On this day there will be flowers, chocolates, and teddy bears galore. You’ll be whisked off your feet by your man in the most romantic way. Or will you?

This day is filled with so many expectations that rarely get met. Even if you’re the “realist” type and claim that you don’t really care about Valentine’s Day, we all know that you have this preconceived notion that you’re boyfriend/fiance/husband is going to ignore what you said and plan something amazing. But let’s face it, that’s not gonna happen.

Here’s what will happen:

1. You’re going to expect a romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant

One of two things is going to happen: 1) your Valentine forgot to make a reservation or 2) his definition of “fine dining” is not the same as yours.

2. You’re going to expect fancy chocolates and a bouquet of a dozen roses.

He’ll get you chocolates and flowers from the drug store.

3. You’re going to expect to look sexy for your man

You’ll be awkward and clumsy, but it’s OK. You’re fabulous and you don’t have to try so hard.

4. You’re going to expect the perfect Valentine’s Day present

No, he wasn’t paying attention when you were, not so subtly, hinting that you wanted that necklace from Tiffany’s. Let’s be real, he got you lingerie that you don’t even like.

Ok, maybe not that kind of underwear… but you get where I’m going.

5. You’re going to expect him to write down all the reasons he loves you

Unless he’s a writer, he’s not gonna be eloquent with his words. He’ll write something because it’ll make you happy, but don’t expect a sonnet.

So, how do you make sure you’re not disappointed on Valentine’s Day?

Relationship expert, Natasha Burton, gives some advice on how to keep your Valentine’s Day expectations in check:

Be Realistic

As best as you can, keep yourself in check when your mind starts to wander toward grandiose Valentine’s Day gestures. Chances are, if your partner doesn’t have any more vacation days left, he or she won’t be whisking you off to Paris for a long weekend. If finances have been tight, you probably won’t be bestowed with diamond earrings. While over-the-top gifts like these are great—okay, really great—they aren’t what this holiday is all about—love! And, as J.Lo taught us many years ago, love don’t cost a thing, right?

Use past years as your guide.

If your partner pulls out all the stops for V-Day, chances are he or she is going to be at it again this year, making the holiday super special. But if he or she isn’t so into the day of love, well, you don’t want to get your hopes up thinking that this will be the year for something over-the-top. Some people are just not into Valentine’s Day and if your partner is one of them, that’s okay! This sentiment doesn’t have anything to do with how much he or she cares about you.

Don’t read into things too much.

Resist the urge to look for meaning into things that may not have significance—like, if your partner leaves a magazine open on the coffee table and the pages just happen to display a jewelry advertisement. It’s never fun to psych yourself out over something that may or may not come to fruition.

Be direct about your desires.

If there’s something you want, or want to do, for Valentine’s Day, by all means, tell your partner! He or she will be thrilled to get some ideas of what might make you feel special rather than just having to guess. Romantic surprises are great but real intimacy comes from having the type of relationship where you can be real with each other about what you want and need.

Take social media posts with a grain of salt.

You know that the second you log into Facebook on February 14th you’re going to be bombarded with photos of flowers sent to friends’ offices by their significant others, selfies featuring new bling and pictures of home cooked candlelit dinners. But remember that you have no idea what the story is surrounding these images: Maybe that friend who received a dozen roses really got into a huge fight with her boyfriend the night before. Perhaps the one brandishing the new tennis bracelet actually picked out the jewelry herself. You really never know the inside story when it comes to other people’s relationships so don’t work yourself up comparing your situation to theirs.

Some people LOVE Valentine’s Day while others don’t care for it so much. If your man is the type that doesn’t care for the holiday, keep your expectations low. It takes the pressure off your guy, which will encourage him to keep trying. Besides, he might surprise you by doing something sweet because he knows you care about the holiday, and if you keep your expectations low the surprise might actually be a pleasant one.


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